And the Answer is...

What can I say... I’m a pretty stupid girl.

I feel like I deserve certain things in life, when I probably don’t.

Like the truth.

That’s not even the issue.

I also feel like I have been cheated and missed out on something

But the thing with that, is that I didn’t realize it until recently, and when I figured out what was missing, I was so angry and part of me still is, and it hurts so much, when people aren’t willing to fix it.

That’s not even the issue.

I hate the way I act when I don’t get what I want.

It’s not like I throw a temper tantrum like a five year old, it’s the emotions that go through me that are so immature and wrong.

Why am I so materialistic and high maintenance?

I’m not even THAT high maintenance.

A few months ago, I was so ready to drop everything and go back to a country where I couldn’t speak the language, to serve God by serving others; and trust me, if I was given the opportunity right now, I would take it.

If money wasn’t an issue, if I spoke the language fluently.

If I trusted God enough.

I would do it.

Funny... I thought I was doing a pretty good job, trusting God. Come to discover....

I’m not any better then I was.

Well, I’m a pretty stupid girl, trusting in myself, putting my hope in others.

God is the answer, I know this...