Desperation

Desperation.
See. I was calling out your name.
And. I didn't think you heard me.
So. I ran.
I ran... as fast as I could and as fast as I can.
I ran.

Desperation.
Not wanting to withstand, what really sits in my soul.
It wasn't you that didn't hear me.
I didn't want to face up. I didn't want you to see how much I screwed up.
I didn't want to admit that I'm not enough.

Desperation.
Woke up in loneliness.
Drowning in my sorrows.
My soul, crying out for freedom.
My heart, feeling heavier than it's ever been.


I didn't know what was wrong. The sun was still shining down, shining strong.
I was so desperate for love. affection. satisfaction.
But I couldn't own up to what was holding me back.
I couldn't face the facts.
I couldn't really look at the bottom of the cup and see the reflections of all the ugliness.

Desperation.
To fix everything.
But. Not the problem.
To be everything for everyone.
But. Not my true self.

Desperation.
To appear unbroken.
To please the world with a smile.

Desperation.
To really be seen for exactly who you are.