Purpose

Okay. I’m going to be honest. I am stressed out to the max. I have too many decisions to make in such a short little time. On top of that, I worry about college.

Okay, here’s the thing, I haven’t been worrying too much about college because I’ve been thinking about visiting my friends, and as unhealthy as that is because it’s not set in stone and will probably be extremely disappointed when I can’t go. It’s been a good distraction from worrying about making friends at Nyack. I guess, it hasn’t really sunk in yet that I’m going to be in a completely different place, without any of the people that I have come to care for and love.

But it’s gotta be beneficial as well... the biggest mistake I made freshman year was having my expectations way too high. I won’t be making that mistake again. Expect the worst right? Then, be pleasantly surprised. Yeah. Gluck with that one.

Gluck is my new word for good luck, anybody else use it?

So... I’m not going to bother writing the things I have to decide, I’m just going to say over the days I’ve spent pondering them and discussing with other people... well, let’s say.

I gave God my life this summer, completely. I told Him, You got the control. From then out, I should’ve known, I will never ever have control over my life ever again.

Thankfully... even though I don’t always realize and acknowledge it, my life is in the best hands.

Jeremiah 29:11

God knows what He’s doing...

More than Words...

There’s so much going on in my head. Every time I try to write something substantial about it, I write too much and it makes no sense in the long run. So, I’m going to try to say what I’m feeling and what has been going on with as little words as possible.

I’ve cried a lot. Leaving hurt more then I could have ever imagined.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

But...

God has already been showing me that I am doing the right thing... through many people and through many ways.

My friends, have more faith in myself then I do. Which just adds to the difficulty of this situation.

My mom said to me today that if I feel any peace at all about this, that I am doing the right thing. That made me cry, and I said “I know, I do feel peace... but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

I know that this will all make sense in the end. But, I’m just stubborn and don’t want to believe it.

tough love

This hurts so much.

There are two people leaving tomorrow, and it’s really beginning to set in. One of them is a good friend of mine, and she also is not returning. I’m not the closest to her, but I’m gonna watch her say goodbye to her best friend here, and I know it’s going to make me hurt, because that’s what’s going to happen to me in a few days... only a few.

6 weeks ago, I was holding my breath because I knew this day was coming. I remember saying to several people, I know how fast six weeks go... that’s the same amount of time I had with CTI this summer. It goes by so incredibly fast.

6 weeks turned into a month, and a month turned into a couple weeks... and now... now we’re at days. And so soon, so soon, it’s all going to disappear. Just like that.

The thing is... I’m not just losing my best friend, I’m losing several of the closest friends that I’ve ever had. I’m leaving my second home. Greenville became my second home and now I have to say goodbye.

There is a line from a song by the Fray that has been running through my head for days, it goes “Sometimes the hardest and the right thing are the same.”

Why does this have to be hard? Why does loving people have to hurt so much?

The Lasts

And... the “lasts” have begun. They began a while ago. I mean heck... they began the day I got here. My last homecoming at Greenville, my last this... my last that. And now, my last classes, my last finals. My last weekend and my last days.

Which... let’s admit it. is DEPRESSING.

Right now, I would say, I would come back... I would stay if things were different, if things were to change. But, that would depend on who was here, when that time happened. I wouldn’t do it if my friends that I’m sitting with right now weren’t here. It wouldn’t be worth it, to leave friends that I’m hoping to make at Nyack.

I would be so happy and content if I could just sit here and hang out my friends all week long without worries of school and finals and just stress free, enjoying each others company.

That’s really all I have to say for this post. They are the reason why I haven’t been posting. My aim has been for 5 a month. I’ve done really decent with that. I’ll probably get them in, but I don’t care if I don’t. I wasn’t wasting time doing other things. I was doing important things.

Memories to Last

Last night, I asked my closest friends from Greenville to hang out with me... The ones that I made connections with that first semester. We went to a park that puts up all these decorations and were silly and took pictures. Man, I’m gonna miss them so much.

So, on the way something awfully stressful happened [besides getting slightly lost]. Well, this was my fault, my tire light was on, but I ignored it, because I knew I couldn’t do anything about it, besides not drive the car... Anyway, we believe this is what caused my car to pull. So, my car pulled, and then I started having a small anxiety attack, it’s not like it was a big deal, but after having an accident last year, my mind went to that and I just really worried about everyone else’s life in the car.

Lauren was amazing though, and I’m so glad she was there, she looked at my tires with me, and she drove a while for me. Then, gave me permission to cry it out. Which, I totally needed, I didn’t want to cry in the car, and was planning on once we got to the park to find somewhere semi-private and have a mini-freak-out session. Then she also taught me how to check my tire pressure when we got back to school. Which, by the way was indeed the problem.

I hate, hate, hate the fact that I have to leave this school. I don’t want to and the thought of leaving my best friends tares me up inside. Part of me feels like I’m letting them down, another part is afraid we won’t stay in touch. I don’t really care about anyone else except them from this school. Which isn’t entirely true, there are others I care about, and I will stay in contact with them as much as possible, but obviously these four girls are the ones I care to stay in contact with the most.

I’m afraid of forgetting the memories, and I wonder did I make enough this semester to last? I have one and a half weeks left to make memories. The whole reason why I came back this semester was to make it something to last.

So, I apologize in advance, I’m sure my posts for a while are going to be very repetitive over the fact that “I’m leaving Greenville and I don’t want to.”

I’m leaving Greenville..... and I really, don’t want to.

An Ending to a Beginning

I spent thanksgiving with my friend lauren and her family. it was good, but i really missed being home, this is one of those important holidays, but it’s okay. i like spending time with my college friend’s families because i feel like i get more of a sense of who they are as a person. when you are around their family you’re around what they have always been, that’s what makes them who they are and for whatever reason it makes me appreciate them even more.

There are only two more full weeks of classes left, then finals. then... I’m leaving, I’m transferring, I’m starting a new life... pretty much. Granted, it’s still a college life. granted the whole new life thing really won’t take place until i graduate. But, it’s really sad to me to leave, really sad.

I can’t believe i won’t see these faces again, at least not for a while, a long while. And at the very least, I won’t sit in classes with them again. I won’t have the same inside jokes, I won’t have someone to whisper to, I won’t have my friends to laugh at my obnoxious doodles that are the same pattern/basic idea that I do day in, day out. I won’t have the history, good or bad.

But, they will stay with me, forever and always.

Greenville had a large impact on my life, this is where God led me for this small part of my life. I learned a lot, but I believe I learned all I could here, and now it is time for me to move on. God opened me to change here, without Greenville, I wouldn’t have had my refocus on loving His people. I wouldn't have been acquainted with CTI, which thus led me to a decision of going into missions... something that in all actuality I always knew I was suppose to be apart of.

Reality

Reality: We all hurt

Unfortunality: My relationship with God is better then my parents relationship with Him

Truth: I love God, and I love my parents
Things are going to change... and it's scary but I know it's for the better.
I brought the situation with my dad to a few people's attention specifically, the ones that I trust and care about. Thank you for praying and your concern and love and patience.
I was letting this thing with my dad eat me up inside... and I knew I needed to deal with it because it was ruining the other relationships around me.

Three people had the most influence spiritually on this whole situation, this is what each one taught me:
1- By bringing this to the attention of my dad, he would hopefully have a wake-up call
2- I need to forgive him wether or not he changes. I thought to myself okay... I will but I want him to at least try before I do... but this time, I was given the wake-up call. Even though he's my dad, I still need to love him like I would anyone else in the name of Jesus
3- I was reminded to trust God with all of this, whatever the outcome, God is in control of this

I called my dad tonight. Throughout the conversation I realized that my dad has hurts too. We all have trust issues... we all need a Savior.
Reality: We're all trying to live in this world as best we can...

Friendly Faces and Encouragement

Tuesday, I drove up to visit some of the friends I met this summer. Mattie and Mike go to school at IC and Rachelle has joined a full-time team, and her team put on a concert. I got there around 4pm and just chilled with all of them, and Racehlle’s team was very nice, I enjoyed their company, I enjoy being around CTI people, they are amazing, it’s so awesome to me, even though I didn’t know them, like there’s just something inside all of us that is in sync with everyone else who has been apart of CTI.

I loved the concert... but I loved wrapping cords, and helping them pick up afterwards, it reminded me of all the fun times I had in Honduras wrapping cords, talking to Jeriel, watching Devlin fake trip so he could re-wrap a cord that someone didn’t do correctly, so that they wouldn’t feel bad [they were only trying to help].

But, one of the highlights, that made the most impact on me, was talking to Mattie, she was such a great encouragement to me that night. I told her my life updates, and then I told her that lately I was feeling very apathetic towards the things at GC, just that I didn’t see a point in getting involved with anything here at the school because I was leaving, and how I know it’s not the right attitude, but I still just can’t seem to get out of this funk.

She told me, well get involved, it will be good for you when you do leave and have to put yourself out there, for real! Use the opportunities that you have.

I love being with CTI people, I felt more real than I have in a while, I think part of it is because we all are open and honest with each other about God, we talk about our relationship with Him together; for me, when I talk to other people, it’s just theological stuff, it’s not about how God knows us personally... and what He’s teaching us personally.

CTI has been such a blessing. This is for Mattie “I’ve been changed for the better” because.... that’s from Wicked right? =]

[I'm sorry too]

I love you and miss you...

there is something I am holding back from you.

but, I hold it back to not hurt you, because I know it would

at the time I said this is my issue

an issue needed to be worked out by myself

you didn’t do anything wrong

but i took it out on you anyway

i stopped talking to you and i was aggravated and jealous of you

and now, when we are apart and separate

there is no need to bring it up

but i wish i could

i wish talking about it could fix the past- but it won’t

and i wish i addressed it sooner

so that the time that we did have, would have been better spent

but we have what we have to keep us going

and that will have to be enough

and you should know, I do forgive you

and I’m not holding a grudge.

Debriefing July 2009

Last week I got my debriefing papers from CTI. The day we returned from Honduras, we went through debriefing, which consisted of talking as a group about our experience, and answering some questions on paper about our experience. “The primary goal of our time together is to help you being [or continue] to process your experience as a CTI team member.”

These are some of the things that went through my mind as I read over my words from 3 months ago.

I closed my eyes, and I imagined myself back in those places, the places that were the humblest and smallest, the places where I felt God’s presence the most powerful.

I felt the same joy that I felt when I truly discovered God’s love for me, and was reminded of how much it hurt when I was slapped with the truth that I didn’t believe He could love me.

My breath was taken away thinking about the grandeur of the mountains.

I felt the jealousy to love on the people, my heart yearns to go back.

I was upset... I talked about the passion I felt to love people. I so desired to spread it to everyone.... and I tried, I remember trying very hard earlier in the semester... and when I read my passion... I was so upset with myself that I lost that. That I stopped putting others needs before mine, that I stopped loving on people.

The fire is still there, it’s something that warms my heart and won’t ever leave. Yet, I find myself still not entirely willing to change. I think it has something to do with my future as I know it right now, because I’m not returning, I am selfish and say to myself, “what does it matter.... in a matter of weeks, they won’t be apart of my life anymore.”
I feel sorry for myself. I do not want to leave, but I am also ready for the change, and ready to feel at peace about where I am.

A Prayer

God, this is my prayer tonight.

Be my strength in my weakness, let me be an example of your great love. Let my friends and family that don’t know you, see you in me through the storm that is coming. I am so small.... thank you for reminding me of this fact, because I know I cannot do these things without your will power. I need your love, your faithfulness, your protection.

My God, my Savior, my Lord, Jesus Christ. Thank you for saving my soul. I stand in awe of your power. I fall on my knees in your glory. I am speechless in your presence.

I'll be a Future Transfer Student...

I’ve sent my application to Nyack today.That’s where I’ve decided to transfer... it’s hard for me to say for certain that that is where I know I’m suppose to be... and the advice everyone gives is pray about it and God will make it clear. I’ve prayed about it, and the only thing I am clear about, is that I’m not suppose to be here. Which makes it really hard for me to leave, because I want to be here. I don’t want to leave, but I know I have to.

I shouldn’t have come back in the first place, I came back because I was being selfish. I came back because it was easiest. I came back because I was afraid. I am afraid of losing my good friends here; and now, I am afraid of transferring in the middle of the year... I know that I have to be involved, and it’s going to be a lot of work on my part; and I know that God will be there by my side through it all.

My reasons for choosing Nyack:

1- Closer to home

2- Great abroad programs

3- Close to NYC, so many ministry opportunities

If I am not accepted [which... is unlikely] I still won’t be returning to Greenville. Last year, I blamed my problems on being homesick... but I never was, so, I’m just saying that the distance is not the issue. My family has been having health issues in general. Specifically, my mother was battling breast cancer this summer but beat it in August. The doctors have found something on her ovaries now. As much as I want to say I’m stronger then this... I’m not, I’m just good at pretending. But, if anything happened to any of my family members, I want to be there for them, and being so far away, I can’t.

So... I regretfully say goodbye greenville...

-If you’re from GC reading this, please help me make the best of my last month and a half here, thanks.

Lessons from the Rain

This past Thursday, it rained quite a bit. Actually... for the past month it has rained every Thursday, it's getting a bit predictable I say.

But, God taught me something new about the rain.

Let me say this, last year rain was a sign to me of God's love. Because I imagined being drenched in His love, like rain.

This year, it's His reminder to me that He is there, and to not forget about Him.

Matthew 11:29

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Bible Study

I know... this is my third post today... things happen -don’t you know!

So, I took up the responsibility to lead a Bible study at the church I’ve been going to for the college group. Tonight we dove in for the first time as a group... we got a late start and missed a couple weeks [better late then never!] I’m pretty content with how it went.

I think it’s something that 1- I will get better at in due time and 2- more discussion will go on as we all get to know each other better

I’m glad I’m doing this though, it’s really great to see how God can use me. I also realized tonight that I should ask my friends more often if there is anything I can pray for them about... praying for people doesn’t just have to be done in a special setting, it should be done whenever. Also, I think it’s another way to make our personal relationship with corporate. It’s the same thing as three people going out to lunch, God can be our lunch companion too.

indeed!

God taught me...

... that I'm a control freak. I really am, I knew this. I just have to be in control all the time. I can't just let things go, and see how they work out on their own. I always have to step in and try to force something to go the way I want.

Sometimes, I don't think that's always a bad thing. At this present time, it is. All I have to do is give it up to God, but for whatever reason, I just don't think He's got my back... when, obviously, He does.

Seek

Please pray for me, I'm not very good at seeking God for everything that goes on in my life; and let's be honest... He knows what's best for me.

Princesa

Oh my goodness, I miss this woman so much. She is wonderful.

Brenda is from Honduras, and she cooked for me and my team this summer. It was really difficult to speak to her because I knew no spanish, and she knows very limited english, but somehow, we connected! [We also had Jeriel our translator, who did translate for us.] We have tried to talk since we parted, it’s very difficult, and usually just ends up being “hello, how are you, God Bless You, I love you.” She really touched my heart, and it’s something I struggle with because I want to talk to her! In all honesty, she is one of the reasons why I want to learn spanish so bad, I want to be able to talk to her, I want to get to know her as a person, and I hate that I can’t. We get by, but I feel as if I am missing out on something, or rather someone.

She continually called and calls me princesa.

The beauty in that word isn’t something I had really thought about until today. I’m God’s princess.... I’m really worth something. That was something I used to struggle with a lot. I’ve never thought I was worthy of God’s love... I’m not, but despite that God still calls me His own. Despite all my sin, God says I am worthy of His love... He is my King.

Gracias Brenda, Dios te bendiga mi amo!

One Song = Frustration?

This is really... rather random, and somewhat of a tangent... feel free to not read...

You know what I find rather annoying... I have so many words and thoughts to write down somewhere. And they all have potential to be profound and poetic... and just beautiful... but they aren’t because they are so smushed up together and don’t make any sense.

Then... I have songs... song after song, incomplete, or completed and not “documented” [in any shape or form of that word].

I’m such a perfectionist when it comes down to my “art” can I call it that?

Pictures that I take, songs that I write, my voice... I critique my voice like crazy! Everything has to be the best it can be.

I’ve been working on this one song for the past couple months. Well, here’s the thing, it’s the same emotion, and I keep coming back to it, and I have built up quite a document of pages on my computer about this one song. I’m starting to despise it, but I know it has so much potential... and my emotional pull to it keeps bringing me back to it, that I can’t stop myself.

That’s where all my thoughts collide and just make a mess of things. It’s ruining what it originally set out to be. Does that make sense?

Actually... it makes sense to me, why the song is such a confusing mess... it’s because my emotion is such a confusing mess... maybe I should label my emotion, emotions. There’s definitely more concurring then just one.

So, I’m hoping, that one day, this one song will actually become one song... and everything will come together like it should.

Honduras Reunion

This weekend I got to see four people that I met this summer and whom went to Honduras with me. Except one of them went to Hong Kong, but I knew her pretty well because I stayed at the same host home with her!

It was so nice to see them again and be with them, and sort of in a way be re-acquainted with them. It was different, because last time we all saw each other we were in a different element and setting, it was kind of like... welcome to my life! The cool thing of that was, “I’m the same person you met this summer.” But... also changed for the better, because of this summer.

This summer, God all taught each of us something, that even though He taught us each something different or similar, we still can connect because of it.

It was odd for me to be off campus though, and with them.. I felt like I was missing out on something in my life by not being on campus. Then when I got back on campus, I realized I missed nothing, no one was here, and I was thankful that I spent my fall break in a productive way.

I’m far too blessed.

This picture would make up 1/3 of the CTI Honduras 2009 Team.

Bruise

I don't really know... I guess I'm just tired and exhuasted and just sick of the bull that goes around. So, I just wrote something, nothing great. It's short and there's a cuss word in it, it's just what it is.

Throw me the punches, one, two, three

Give ‘em to me baby, one more time please

I can take the hurts, the pains

I don’t want you’re pity, you’re sanity

I want justification and liberty.

Bruise me, inside and out

Go ahead and tempt me to cry

I’m so full of lies.

I’m only so strong

And trust me... I’m not...

I know I sound like a hypocrite.

I know that sometimes... I can be a bitch

I know I’m not nearly as Godly as I hope to be.

Really, all I want is freedom and liberty.

Dreams

Life goals, agendas, aspirations...

So, the state I’m currently residing in for school, is debating wether or not to take away this huge grant that helps fund a lot of kids tuition for school. I don’t have it because I’m from out of state. I just finished watching this video that many of the students at my school made. They held up signs “Future: _____”

Then at the end, they portrayed responses if the grant is taken away... going to the worst extreme: they can’t finish their education. Thus, they can’t accomplish their dreams.

It’s really stupid of me, but the video made me a little sad. Just to think, someone not getting that opportunity. It happens everyday though. I thought of my dreams... and not being able to accomplish them. But I also thought about how my dreams have changed in the past year.

I wanted to sing, for the rest of my life. But you know why I originally wanted to sing, I wanted to sing to reach people and I was going to be so involved with ministries to encourage others to get involved. By the time I went to college though, I had forgotten about those reasons, I wanted to do it because I wanted to be the best. But, God reminded me to put people first. So finally I did that, and things came together and this summer, God completed the transformation of my dreams. Not to say that my dreams won’t change again and again, but I know now what God wants me to do, and that’s what I’m shooting for.

My dreams as of today:

To serve God, love people, learn spanish, and to be wherever God wants me... [Central America? maybe. possibly. hopefully.]

Things are Looking uP

Okay, part of me is just writing because I feel a responsibility too. When, in all actuality, I shouldn't be writing because I should be going to bed and/or doing homework.

But, I am in a very positive and happy mood.

Things are going pretty smoothly right now.

Where to begin. I'm really looking forward to this weekend, a dear friend of mine is going to be visiting me and we will probably also visit a few other people. I'm so excited! There will be more about that later in life. =]

For the most part, I can't complain about what's going on in my life, there's a few complications just like anyone else. But most of "the complications" are things that I just need to give to God. I was talking to a close friend the other night about how conflicted I was feeling and she gently reminded me that I need to just let God in on the decisions I'm trying to make on my own, He won't steer me wrong.

I was just like. CRAP. I did it again, I forgot to let God in on my life. It's pretty lame of me, I'm just so afraid to give that one part of my life over to him.. when He knows me better then anyone else. He knows what to choose for me, and He really will choose the right thing. oh trust.

Lastly, it's something I'm pretty excited about. I've finally come to a decision of what I will be doing [sort of]. I found a college to transfer to that seems great, and I'm pretty sure it's the place God wants me to go. Okay, I don't really know, but things have been happening that just seem right, and the idea of going to this school keeps growing on me more and more, and I get really excited thinking about being there in the future.

The only thing I need to figure out now is when to transfer. Right now, I just want to be at the place where I can finish the most credits. Unfortunately the school I'm thinking about transferring to does not have interterm or summer courses. So finishing in 3 years with a double major... definitely not going to happen. Which is okay, I think that this school is going to be a good fit for me. It's a small school located in a big place [20min from the city].

Diversity is calling my name.

God and I time...

I’ve been putting God off for a few days now... kinda just because of my busyness and frustrations, I was just simply not spending my daily time with Him. I said to myself last night, it was late and I go.. “I know God, I’ve been ditching you... but it’s late and I’m tired and I’ll just do it tomorrow, okay?”

“You keep putting off tomorrow, and you’re never gonna come back to Me.”

Hmmmph. I didn’t like those words too much.

“Fine. But... I’m taking you to the bathroom.” So, I grabbed my devotional book, and took it while I sat on the pot.

2 Chronicles 6:15-

“You have kept your promise to your servant David my father; with your mouth you have promised and with your hand you have fulfilled it- as it is today.”

If you didn’t get that, it was about making promises and not fulfilling them.

Can you say... slap in the face?

But you know what I really realized, I realized that all God wants to do is spend time with us... yeah, even in the bathroom. But... uhm.. well, I’m kind of ashamed that I belittled Him to that. God deserves a lot more then a potty-break.

Adrenaline Rush

A bad one. Not a good one, not the kind that helps you do good in races, or become the hulk to save a child trapped under a bulldozer. The kind where you experience so many emotions at once... that I like to label as multiple emotion-analysis [which is more or less an inside joke, and me being hyper]. The kind that gives you a nervous break-down.

I hate it. Absolutely hate the feelings.

That’s how I began this post... then as I wrapped up the meaning of the title, I realized that was not what this post was suppose to be about so I deleted the ending kept the middle which is as follows:

A friend came to me the other day, in tears, and my heart broke for them, absolutely broke; but not only for them, for so many people... even for myself. It’s amazing what the Holy Spirit does inside of us. My whole self understood in that moment, where I was on my hands and knees praying for this friend, what it means to love like He has loved us. What it really meant to have you're heart break for what breaks His. [To see His beloved children in suffering... it hurts] It’s something I have been trying to instill in my life for quite some time.

It’s funny, I actually had a conversation with God during worship one day at church about this. I summarize that conversation like this, but not word for word because I feel like it is too personal... “God, why would you do this for me, why would you send you’re beloved son to die for me?” and God said “Because I love you, and I want to be with you forever.” And I said “Okay God... but what am I suppose to do in the meantime? You did something so great for me, how can I repay this debt... I don’t know what to do from here.” “Love, I want you to love as much as you can, I want you to live in the moment and put all you’re energy into that moment. Loving others is loving Me.”

This was my final prayer that night of praying and crying for my friend. Which... reads as a poem... I do that at times... go figure.

“Live through me Lord, live through me and never ever let my light go out.

Stay with me Lord, stay with me and remind me constantly how to love.

Love me Lord, like you always have... and never will ever stop.

Take me Lord, take my entire life and let it glorify You.

Rebirth me, Transform me, Break me.

Make me more like You.”

An adrenaline rush of God’s love perhaps? Perhaps that is what this post was suppose to be about. When I was writing about the betrayal I felt tonight and the adrenaline that rushed all around me, I knew what I was writing was wrong in the sense that... I was making this about myself once again, and this isn’t about me, it’s about God and what He’s doing in me.

God is a God of second chances.

Outside my Window

This is the view from my dorm window... not the prettiest... the lower roof is the commonly called DC, which stands for dining commons.

I used to find it funny... how I could smell the cafeteria food. But today, today I find it revolting.

I used to try and figure it out... what they we're making for whatever time of the day it was... but not anymore, it all smells the exact same. Except, for tator tots... those have a distinct smell, I can tell when they make tater tots.

Ugh... but I must go and eat this smelly food, my stomach is growling for it...

September Life Update

I figured I should do something like this to keep true to the old blog [which you can't find because I blocked...] So, this is my summary of the first month of school.

I've had plenty of Wal-Mart runs. My floor does puzzles in the lounge. I've done laundry twice, will be three times by the end of today. Work in the cafeteria at 6:30-10:00 am MWF. I'm taking 5 classes that add up to 14 credit hours. I'm trying to figure out what I'll be doing with my life. Watched more movies then I ever did before. Reading more pleasure reading then I did last year. Not on Facebook as much. Have phone-dates with my summer friends. Work-out.

I've gotten my share of hispanic culture. This picture is from Latin Dance Night, which was just about the best thing ever. I love Latin dance, I love dressing up.

Although, this picture is not from the actual latin dance part, this was just afterwards doing our own thing. We had an instructor, who taught us the salsa, merengue, and the chacha.

I'm a slow learner... but I really adore the dance.

I also went to a Hispanic Cultural Festival in St. Louis, which was really awesome, just to be around that culture again. I sorta felt like I was in a Central American Market, but it didn't really compare to the real thing. There was a Honduran running a booth, it made me really happy, but I don't think she understood english very well... cause I told her I had just spent a summer there, and she didn't seem to care... maybe she didn't.

There was also an adorable Ecudorean lady running a booth, she was gorgeous and super friendly, I basically wanted to be her friend forever and ever.

And of course there was food! I had an Encantada, which is pretty much popular everywhere in Central America, a lot of food booths had them. Argentina seemed to be the hottest spot for them though [and yes, I know Argentina is in South America]. But one place had ran out of plantains, which was really disappointing.

I've been pretty anti-social in retrospect. Mostly because the most happening times are after dinner and I go to bed early so I can operate during the day because of work. But Saturday we had a brother/sister floor event, bowling, so that was fun... I've become better at left-hand bowling then right.. and I'm right handed, go figure...

I almost went bowling in El Salvador this summer, that would have been fun memories. But, I'm not complaining, I have a ton of memories to last me a lifetime from this sumer!