Perfect Timing

God’s timing is perfect.

As much as there are certain things in my life right now that seems like there is never a perfect time for... I know this is true, and that God will use everything and anything in His time.

Nyack. Nyack is what I needed. I haven’t really touched base at the basic lessons I have learned from Nyack but now seems like the time.

These are the things I got most out of Nyack:

I learned so much about the relationships I had, with friends, with family, with God.

I put my foot down on a major; one that I’m so excited studying about.

I made amazing friends, people that only knew me for a short while but cared just as much about me as my dearest and closest friends. I will never forget how welcomed they made me feel.

I needed to step out of Greenville for a time. God knew that, and when I look back on everything that happened during the semester, well I don’t regret it, and I’m honestly thankful for it.

God also has a perfect plan as I am back in Greenville.

I was having some difficulty with my decision (again) for the past month. Things began happening that started making me believe that this was God’s way of telling me that Greenville was not apart of His plan... and that I was doing one hell of a job pissing Him off. But... it didn’t make sense... I don’t believe that God punishes like that.

It also didn’t make sense how everything came out so smoothly. All my credits transferred, my roommate... is absolutely amazing, I still don’t know her very well but, I adore her. The classes I needed were all available, and somehow I bypassed the waiting list for a couple of them.

I also knew, once I got back on campus, I would feel at peace about my decision, which I do. I’m still concerned about the things that God has put in my life at this present time, but I know that everything will turn out exactly as He has planned... they’re teaching me more lessons after all.

This Life I'm Given

God... you are so amazing.

I cannot thank you enough for my life.

I cannot thank you enough for the people you have placed in my life.

God. I love you.

I'm so sorry for constantly hurting You.

God... your grace on my life... I don't deserve this amazing, passionate gift.

Thank you... thank you for showing me the only love You can give.

A love that is everlasting and eternal.

God... thank you for my parents, for my parents who would give the world to me. For my parents who frustrate and annoy me, but have raised me into the young woman I am... who have put your truth in my heart as a young girl

Thank you for my desires.

Thank you for instilling your truths in my heart.

Thank you for chasing me. For pursuing a relationship with me.

God... I don't deserve anything that I have been blessed with.

I am selfish and greedy. I am a filthy sinner.

God, you are amazing and I couldn't have this life without you giving it to me.

Without supplying my every breath.

God... thank you...

Thank you for this life I'm given.

I want to give it back to You. Help me Father, help me to pursue You like You have pursued me. I want every thing I do to count for You and Your glorious kingdom.

Friends Forever!

My friend shouted this one night as we got settled into bed. I laughed at the phrase she decided to use and end the night with. Most people say a cheerful goodnight at sleepovers. Apparently... not her, leave it up to E.H to come up with something original.

I recently told my car accident story to another friend and I also told her how much E.H did for me throughout the week. She told me “That’s amazing, that’s a true friend you’ve got there.” I couldn’t agree more. Actually... E.H is one of the truest friends anyone could have. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like her, she treats everyone with respect and supports everyone, wether she agrees with them or not.

As I started my semester at Nyack, another friend encouraged me by reminding me that this situation would bring out my true friends. That the people who stayed in contact with me, were the ones that genuinely cared about me. This is where I would like to add that I also realized who my true friends at home were... but I need to get into that for another time... a post titled "What Nyack Taught Me."

Another friend of mine (E.D- I hope you don’t mind!) blogged about friendships recently. She talked about bad kind and the good kind.

Her favorite kind :: The 'I'm friends with you, because I enjoy hanging out with you, but we also can have serious conversations' Friend: This friend is someone that should be cherished, because they are hard to find. This person truly cares about you as an individual and lets you know it. This person gets to know you, your likes and dislikes, the good and the bad. This person is someone that you can trust your secrets to and know that they're not going to go tell someone else. This friend is one that will stand by you through thick and thin, the one that you can laugh with and cry with, the one that loves you at your worst and at your best. This friend, is a keeper.

Before I started college, one of my youth leaders whom I was very close to, told me very often how I was going to make such great friends in college. Of course I believed her. She made the whole college experience sound like the most amazing thing ever. I haven’t been disappointed. College has had its ups and downs, but I know when I get done, there’s a lot I will be taking away from it. There's a lot I have gotten out of it already.

Like some forever friends, past and present.

[no current song]

Update: Music

Hey!

So... I updated this blog a bit. Sometimes I write things and songs go well with them. And... instead of quoting the song, I'm going to just add it to the music player, and when you're reading... you can listen to the song! Pretty snazzy right? I think so! =]

Currently I have two songs that go with the last two posts previous to this... in order.

I will be posting another blog though right after I post this one. But I don't have a song for it.

So, I guess I need to work out a system so that you know if the song playing goes along with what I just posted or not...

But, I just wanted to clarify all of this because the current song at this present date [Everything- Tim Hughes] wouldn't fit, and I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

Alright. Thanks!

[no current song]--- this works right?

My Prayer

Lord...

Be my strength, when I am weak.

Fill my cup, when I am dry.

Give me peace Lord, when my anxieties and worries multiply.

Be everything to me God, be more than enough for me God...

I am miserable without you. I am lonely without you. I hurt so much God, without you.

I want you Lord. I want to rely on You for everything this life shells out to me.

I don't want sickness to stand in my way, I don't want relationships to stand in my way, I don't want the things of this world to stand in my way.

God.. I want to live each day committed and devoted to you. I want to fall in love with You Lord.

I'm afraid of what that kind of life may mean for me, but I am willing to serve you Lord with my whole heart. You are a patient God, and I ask that you will be patient with me.

Guide me, I will follow.

It Makes me Realize

I have so many thoughts about this past week. It didn’t go as I planned. A car accident got in the way to say the least... and I could have and probably should have lost my life... or had taken someone down with me.... but God had His grace on me and protected me and guided my out of control vehicle in the safest way possible to avoid the least damage (in my opinion) to both myself and my car (which I’m pretty sure I may just get back).

So, technically I should be in Indiana right now... visiting my friend Amy. But life happens, and I’m honestly just thankful to still have mine.

God taught me a lot through this incident... and it made something click within me; especially after this summer, I just haven’t been feeling connected to God like I should. It’s just been a long year, going through a lot of changes and it’s not over yet!

Anyway... that’s just some background. I think what I really want to share is how people reacted. Before I started the road trip, I wondered why I was doing all of this and I felt like I was being selfish. I’m not sure if that makes sense, and I’m not sure I know how to explain it. I wanted to see my friends... I wanted them to want to see me... I wanted to feel loved.

I got that... that’s for sure. But... not in the way I had wanted to, I didn’t want them to fear for my life. I didn’t want to have my parents worry about me so much either.

But everyone was so concerned for me, and that really touched me. But it made me realize how important it is to tell people how much they mean to you when they still are in your life.

It made me realize... how much my own life means.

It makes me realize how important relationships are.

It makes me realize how badly I want to honor God with my life, because I know the only reason why I am here is because of Him.

It makes me realize that... God has such a distinct plan for my life.

It made me realize just how meaningless everything else is.

It’s all about us. God cares about us, not the materialistic crap we set our eyes on. It’s about loving people in the name of Jesus. It’s bringing people into the realization of a loving relationship with Him.

It’s leaving a mark on people’s lives.

“A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar

They're worth so much more after I’m a goner

And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’

Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’”

The Band Perry- If I Die Young