Lessons from the Rain

This past Thursday, it rained quite a bit. Actually... for the past month it has rained every Thursday, it's getting a bit predictable I say.

But, God taught me something new about the rain.

Let me say this, last year rain was a sign to me of God's love. Because I imagined being drenched in His love, like rain.

This year, it's His reminder to me that He is there, and to not forget about Him.

Matthew 11:29

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Bible Study

I know... this is my third post today... things happen -don’t you know!

So, I took up the responsibility to lead a Bible study at the church I’ve been going to for the college group. Tonight we dove in for the first time as a group... we got a late start and missed a couple weeks [better late then never!] I’m pretty content with how it went.

I think it’s something that 1- I will get better at in due time and 2- more discussion will go on as we all get to know each other better

I’m glad I’m doing this though, it’s really great to see how God can use me. I also realized tonight that I should ask my friends more often if there is anything I can pray for them about... praying for people doesn’t just have to be done in a special setting, it should be done whenever. Also, I think it’s another way to make our personal relationship with corporate. It’s the same thing as three people going out to lunch, God can be our lunch companion too.

indeed!

God taught me...

... that I'm a control freak. I really am, I knew this. I just have to be in control all the time. I can't just let things go, and see how they work out on their own. I always have to step in and try to force something to go the way I want.

Sometimes, I don't think that's always a bad thing. At this present time, it is. All I have to do is give it up to God, but for whatever reason, I just don't think He's got my back... when, obviously, He does.

Seek

Please pray for me, I'm not very good at seeking God for everything that goes on in my life; and let's be honest... He knows what's best for me.

Princesa

Oh my goodness, I miss this woman so much. She is wonderful.

Brenda is from Honduras, and she cooked for me and my team this summer. It was really difficult to speak to her because I knew no spanish, and she knows very limited english, but somehow, we connected! [We also had Jeriel our translator, who did translate for us.] We have tried to talk since we parted, it’s very difficult, and usually just ends up being “hello, how are you, God Bless You, I love you.” She really touched my heart, and it’s something I struggle with because I want to talk to her! In all honesty, she is one of the reasons why I want to learn spanish so bad, I want to be able to talk to her, I want to get to know her as a person, and I hate that I can’t. We get by, but I feel as if I am missing out on something, or rather someone.

She continually called and calls me princesa.

The beauty in that word isn’t something I had really thought about until today. I’m God’s princess.... I’m really worth something. That was something I used to struggle with a lot. I’ve never thought I was worthy of God’s love... I’m not, but despite that God still calls me His own. Despite all my sin, God says I am worthy of His love... He is my King.

Gracias Brenda, Dios te bendiga mi amo!

One Song = Frustration?

This is really... rather random, and somewhat of a tangent... feel free to not read...

You know what I find rather annoying... I have so many words and thoughts to write down somewhere. And they all have potential to be profound and poetic... and just beautiful... but they aren’t because they are so smushed up together and don’t make any sense.

Then... I have songs... song after song, incomplete, or completed and not “documented” [in any shape or form of that word].

I’m such a perfectionist when it comes down to my “art” can I call it that?

Pictures that I take, songs that I write, my voice... I critique my voice like crazy! Everything has to be the best it can be.

I’ve been working on this one song for the past couple months. Well, here’s the thing, it’s the same emotion, and I keep coming back to it, and I have built up quite a document of pages on my computer about this one song. I’m starting to despise it, but I know it has so much potential... and my emotional pull to it keeps bringing me back to it, that I can’t stop myself.

That’s where all my thoughts collide and just make a mess of things. It’s ruining what it originally set out to be. Does that make sense?

Actually... it makes sense to me, why the song is such a confusing mess... it’s because my emotion is such a confusing mess... maybe I should label my emotion, emotions. There’s definitely more concurring then just one.

So, I’m hoping, that one day, this one song will actually become one song... and everything will come together like it should.

Honduras Reunion

This weekend I got to see four people that I met this summer and whom went to Honduras with me. Except one of them went to Hong Kong, but I knew her pretty well because I stayed at the same host home with her!

It was so nice to see them again and be with them, and sort of in a way be re-acquainted with them. It was different, because last time we all saw each other we were in a different element and setting, it was kind of like... welcome to my life! The cool thing of that was, “I’m the same person you met this summer.” But... also changed for the better, because of this summer.

This summer, God all taught each of us something, that even though He taught us each something different or similar, we still can connect because of it.

It was odd for me to be off campus though, and with them.. I felt like I was missing out on something in my life by not being on campus. Then when I got back on campus, I realized I missed nothing, no one was here, and I was thankful that I spent my fall break in a productive way.

I’m far too blessed.

This picture would make up 1/3 of the CTI Honduras 2009 Team.